The vultures are circling...

People are trying to set me up. The newsprint isn't even dry from the announcement that I broke up with my girlfriend, and people are already swarming in for the kill. I think part of the problem is that I was at the wedding on Saturday of one of my colleagues. Weddings are notorious for bringing up talk about, "who's next?," and "who's available?" Apparently I was at the top of the list. The bride at the wedding and I used to sort of date, and I know that this was being discussed at some of the tables. It's been more than once that people have told me that they thought that B_____ and I were perfect for each other, but from my point of view, I felt nothing but relief on Saturday that I wasn't saying vows. She's a great woman, but we weren't right for each other. Well, I guess my colleagues are trying to decide who is.

To tell this story, I need to go back to California. While I was there, the daughter of two of my colleagues (who is also a musician), played English horn with us during the second week of the festival. I had never really spoken to her before, but I figured I would say hi and be friendly. There are four of us from our orchestra in the festival orchestra, and so we welcomed her and took her under our wings. I had essentially one evening of interaction with the girl. I talked to her extensively at a party, and then all of us went out for drinks, and then I drove her home to her house, since she didn't have her car with her. That was it. Nothing more--just being my friendly, affable self.

At the wedding, upon hearing about my unfortunate break-up with my girlfriend, these two colleagues of mine gave me a moment of consolation, and then moved fairly quickly to try to make wedding plans for me and their daughter. The mother of the future bride sidled up to me after at least three gin and tonics, and leaned her head upon my shoulder telling me how much she adored me. She placed her hand upon my chest, and left it there for quite some time, rather an awkward position. After extolling to me how wonderful her daughter was, and how much she thought of me, she sauntered up to the bar for a refill, and on the way said something to her husband, who was standing nearby. Overheard by my friend, she said , "go sit down and say something nice to the future father of your grandchildren."

YIKES!

This girl is not anyone I would ever consider dating. At the party where I spoke to her, she was wearing a rather scanty top, and it was cold. (Let me just say that June was bustin' out all over, and I was wishing it wasn't summer). A friend of mine and I both offered her the use of our fleece. She rolled her eyes at the suggestion, stating for the record that she does NOT wear fleeces. "There are a few things I simply refuse to wear: fleeces, tennis shoes and sweatshirts. Ugh!" Instantly I thought she was a foolish girl. She then spoke at length about how much she loved shopping for shoes. This is not a way to a man's heart.

I don't want to paint such a garish picture. There were interesting things to discuss. She loves to cook as well, and was incredibly envious of the class I was taking. I can certainly be friendly with the girl, and when I see her again, I'll say hi, and we'll chat for awhile, I'm sure. But to think that I would ever consider dating her--talk about the heebie geebies!

Throughout the evening, she would let fly some raucous insinuations that were a bit jarring for both me and my buddy. She was going for shock value, and all it did was make me wonder when the evening would be over. I'm no prude, by any stretch of the imagination, but she was gross. This, by the way, is also not the way to a man's heart.

I dropped her off, and thought nothing more of the evening. Until last Saturday.

Even before my "future" father and mother in law wandered by to set a date for the wedding, one of my colleagues came to my table and announced to us all that she just needed "to meddle a little bit." She leaned over to me, and said, "a little bird told me that you and ___________ really hit it off in California. What do you think?" I quickly disabused her of the notion that I had any interest in the fleeceless fashionista, and asked her to help me out by dropping it. She proceeded to suggest someone else, a violinist in the orchestra who at least is someone I respect and admire, but I certainly wasn't asking for help.

I hopefully have set this freight train going down another track. I recruited a few mutual friends to try and dissuade the couple from pursuing the matter further, but we shall see. Apparently, people want to see me married off. Here's a bit of irony for you: when I'm at a wedding, I tend think about my own, and perhaps who I would invite. I was doing just that, and came to the conclusion that I had no interest in having this particular couple at my wedding. Little did I know that just a few hours hence, they would be working on the invitation list of their daughter's marriage to me. I'd have to use my veto power to boot them.

To add to the circling vultures, a former boss emailed me today, inviting me to a BBQ at his house where he was planning on bringing an "available woman." These things are always ill-conceived, but I feel compelled to humor the man. Hopefully there will at least be some tasty food. And yesterday, at another BBQ with some other colleagues, someone was suggested to me within 20 seconds of me announcing that I had just broken up.

I suppose it's nice to think that people would like to see me married off. But I just broke up with an amazing woman, and none of these prospects remotely interest me when compared to her. I need time, and I need to do it in my own way. At the same time, I am really quite ready to be married. I've lived alone for a long time. I've enjoyed my single life, and never really fell under the weight of feeling pressure to be married. But now, I'm ready to find someone, and the bar has been set pretty stinkin' high by my ex-girlfriend. I'm ready, though, and ready to be a father too. I'd like some little munchkins waddling around this place. But first things first. And I really don't want anyone's help.