Uncle Wally and the Mighty Menominee Meteorite

I was thinking today about my Great Uncle Wally, one of my favorite family members. He passed away a year or so ago, and I still miss him, though every time I think of him, I start to smile.

He was constantly smiling, a big toothy grin from ear to ear. He was quick to laugh, and always happy to tell a story about the old days, growing up in the backwoods of the Upper Peninsula. I always looked forward to visiting Uncle Wally as a boy growing up, and once we were there, I'd pepper him with questions, hoping he'd tell us a story.

One of my favorite stories involved dynamite. Make that two stories involving dynamite. It all began when Uncle Wally decided to drive down to Michigan State and take a class in blasting, when such classes were still offered. He learned how to properly set a charge, how to determine the correct amount of force needed to accomplish the job at hand, and learned just enough I suspect to be a little dangerous.

When he returned, he began looking for projects where he could use his new found skills. A boulder that jutted too far into his dirt basement had always bother Uncle Wally. It was too large to excavate, and he decided that the only answer was to blast the boulder from it's home. He duly set the charges, making sure all was secure in the basement and protected from the ensuing blast. He lit the fuse, and took cover. The explosion echoed throughout the entire house, shaking it as if it was under attack. He forgot one small detail: he failed to inform my Aunt Dorothy that he was going to set off the dynamite, and her tea party guests, who were enjoying crumpets and genteel conversation at the time upstairs, were not amused.

Once he had returned from the blasting class at State, my Great Uncle Wally became the go-to man in Menominee County for anyone who needed anything blasted. A farmer called Wally, asking for his help to remove a large boulder from his field. Wally agreed, collected his dynamite and traveled to the site. Now, this boulder was very near the fencerow that abutted the neighbor's woodlot. My Uncle set the charges, and as was his wont, probably added a bit more than was needed for good measure. The blast launched the boulder, causing it to slowly tumble through the air, right over the closest trees of the neighbor's land where it simply disappeared into the neighbor's woodlot. The two of them chuckled, shrugged their shoulders and assumed no damage really had been done.

Later that day, the neighbor happened to be walking in his woodlot. He noticed the boulder instantly. He wondered where it came from, and looking into the trees, he saw the path of destruction that the boulder had made through the tops of the trees, along with scars on the bark from the flying debris. He was convinced that he knew what he had in his woodlot, and so called the local newspaper to tell them that he had discovered a meteorite.

They called the local high school science teacher to come out and take a look, since he was the most qualified expert in the area to have any sort of informed opinion on the matter. Looking at the evidence around him, the boulder on the ground, and the clear evidence of the path of the "meteorite" through the trees, he gave his stamp of approval, and declared that yes, this must be a meteorite. The local paper started to refer to this as the "Menominee Meteorite" and life had never been more exciting in Stephenson, MI.

Now, my great uncle Wally and the man who hired him watched all of this in silent and conspiratorial amusement. As word of the "meteorite" got around, it was suggested that someone who was really an authority be called upon to authenticate the meteorite once and for all. They called upon a professor at Northern Michigan University to drive down to weigh in on the subject.

There was quite an audience there to witness the Professor's deliberation and analysis of the meteorite. This had become quite the buzz around town, and everyone waited with bated breath to hear the professor's pronouncement. The professor examined the evidence, the boulder and the trees, and told the expectant crowd, "In most meteorites, we see a large concentration of iron. There is little to no iron in this rock, and it appears to be nothing more than a terrestrial boulder. It's clear it did come from the sky, and I can't explain how this happened to appear in your woodland, but it is undoubtedly not a meteorite."

Everyone was aghast and disappointed, and wondered how this boulder had traveled through the air. It was at this point that Wally leaned over to his friend, with the trademark Uncle Wally grin, and said, "Well, do you think we should tell them?"

I don't know if he ever did tell.