For all have fallen short

The big message of the gospel seems to me to be that we've all fallen short, and we need some help, desperately. For me, the fallen short part is a given. Anyone under any illusions that he's a saint is fooling no one but himself. I move on fairly quickly from that basic tenant, since it's as obvious to me as gravity. I screw up, and screw up royally. But let's move on, and get on with the part of the gospel that is the message I think the world needs to hear most. I see the gospel as the promise of a Saviour who will heal us, make us whole, and draw us to himself.

I have a friend who's moving to Minnesota on Tuesday. He's a good friend of mine, and he happens to be gay. I'll miss being able to grab a beer with him from time to time, or catch a movie. He's moving away to move in with a man he's fallen in love with, and this man happens to be old enough to be his father. It's clear both of these men are hurting units, who desperately need the healing presence of Christ in their lives.

I've had many conversations with this friend of mine, tactfully presenting the possibility that there are issues in his life that could be lying under the surface that need to be looked at. I've always framed these comments in a way that places them in a context of concern over any kind of relationship, heterosexual or homosexual. I've posed questions as questions most people would raise at the thought of a woman moving in with a man old enough to be her father, for example. I've suggested to him to consider what his parents, family and friends might think of this change in his life, and asked him if he's willing to endure the inherent societal pressures placed on any unorthodox couple, such as theirs. I always have tried to frame these conversations in such a way that he knows I'm talking to him about these things out of concern for him, as I am.

It saddens me. I see signs of potential dysfunction in this relationship already, from the things he's told me. (Of course, most people reading this automatically assume dysfunction exists because of the age disparity. I'm talking about the kinds of dysfunction that can creep into any relationship, whether romantic or platonic--more things simply having to do with the human condition.) My only desire for my friend is that he find healing for the wounds in his soul. The fact is, I suspect before that will ever happen, he will need to endure even more difficulty and pain in his life. I don't have a happy prognosis for this relationship. There are already some signs of jealousy creeping in, and power plays, at least from the little bit he's told me.

I've never told him that what he was doing was wrong. I've tried to open his eyes to consider the big picture, out of concern for him, but he's in charge of his life, and I know that a dogmatic pronouncement on his actions would do nothing other than cause him to push me out of his life. He's not a believer, so he doesn't subscribe to the same moral code as I do anyway. But that being said, I think I'm the only believer in his life. I don't view him as a mission field, by any stretch of the imagination, however. He's my friend. He's not compartmentalized as my token gay friend that I pray about, so that he sees the light and realizes how far he's fallen short of the glory of God. He's my friend, and it saddens me immensely to know that he's hurting.

The gospel for me is all about the love of Christ. I know that Christ was a righteously angry man/God in the temple, but I cling to the compassion and merciful side of Christ. That's what I'm counting on in my own life! The overwhelming love of Christ, not the God who struck down Sodom and Gomorrah, is what will draw men and women like my friend to Christ. They've already lived a life in hell, and a life filled with metaphorical fire and brimstone.

I'm glad he's my friend, and I will genuinely miss him. We'll stay in touch, and when he comes home, we'll get together and grab dinner and a beer. He's a good friend, and I'm sad to suspect that he'll journey down a path filled with more pain and sorrow. But isn't that what brings everyone to Christ in the first place? Aren't we all prodigal sons, who've journeyed down a path that led to the swine pit? Well, in that case, I wish him godspeed to Minnesota. Let's get it over with.

My prayer and hope is that he'll come to know the healing love of Christ. And I'm going to try to be the best friend I can to him. Who knows how long it will take? 10, 20, 30 years? Maybe never, but I hope with all my heart that isn't the case.

If you think of him, please pray for him.