The Easter Vigil service at the Cathedral lasted about three hours Saturday night. Three hours is a long time, and by the time I headed out of town, and filled up at the gas station, I became aware of a serious need to use a bathroom. I asked the gas station clerk if I could use their bathroom.
"We don't have one," she replied.
I looked a little surprised, and probably a bit desperate, so she continued with more information.
"Well, we used to have one, but the owners shut her down when the toilet was stolen."
I tried to stifle a laugh, but was only partially successful.
Who steals toilets?
I tried to imagine the people who did this. Did they stake out the joint? Did they test drive the toilet before stealing it?
"This one's a serious flusher...nothing'll get stuck in this puppy. I think we hit the jackpot with the one, and it's gonna look great in the master bath. I'll call Rod up, and we'll do a little "shopping" on Saturday night. What we're gonna need though, is a diversion, Mary Lou. You're gonna drive up in your car, and go buy a pack of Virginia Slims and some Krispy Kremes. Offer one of each to the clerk, and get her gabbing about how much she hates her job, cuz you know she does. She talks my ear off every time I'm inside, so it shouldn't be too hard, plus you're a Chatty Kathy yourself. It's gonna be a quick job...just gotta unbolt the thing, and break that wax seal. Rod and I will pop her in the back of his Jimmy, throw a tarp over it, and then we'll go put her in. When you see us leave, follow us home--and don't leave the Krispy Kremes behind!"
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2 comments:
This is too funny.
And don't forget the Krispy Kremes indeed.
Just be honest Rod, I mean Dan. We all know you're remodeling your bathroom.
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