Journals

Lately I've been spending time reading old journal entries and letters I wrote as part of my work on this book. I haven't read these in years and it's very eye opening to what my past was like, and how much things have changed since I wrote the things I'm reading now.

I just read a letter I wrote to my therapist on December 23, 1997 which I'd say was the beginning of a difficult ten year long journey that was a journey I needed to take. It showed that I was in very bad straits, but what is exciting to read is a journal entry that I wrote in 2006.

I had the realization today that I feel like I'm coming home. My life the past ten or fifteen years has been filled with a roller coaster ride of a journey. It certainly has been characterized in many ways as the journey of a prodigal son, though I realize that it's a journey I needed to take.

It has been a rough and weary road. But I am close to journey's end. Tonight, it dawned on me how far this journey has taken me. The landscape is familiar to me, and it seems that home is just over the next hill. I know it will look different now--or perhaps it is my way of seeing that is different. I suppose that home is more genuine now, the real article, rather than a poster board cutout of what I thought home was supposed to be. I see it clearly now. Perhaps that was the reason for my journey away.

I am grateful to God for not letting go of me. I am grateful to my friends and family for their love and prayers.

It's good to be coming home.

I entitled the entry above "Journey's End," but now it's very clear to me that the journey is never over, even though we might have come home and been welcomed with open arms by our Father.