EDWARD
I once experienced the extreme of physical pain,
And now I know there is suffering worse than that.
It is surprising, if one had time to be surprised:
I am not afraid of the death of the body,
But this death is terrifying. The death of the spirit--
Can you understand what I suffer?
REILLY
I understand what you mean.
EDWARD
I can no longer act for myself.
Coming to see you--that's the last decision
I was capable of making. I am in your hands.
I cannot take any further responsibility.
REILLY
Many patients come in that belief.
Later in the same scene:
I am at least free to leave. And I propose to do so.
My mind is made up. I shall go to a hotel.
It is just because you are not free, Mr. Chamberlayne,
That you have come to me. It is for me to give you that--
Your freedom. That is my affair.
----------
Another scene:
You see, I think I really had a vision of something
Though I don't know what it is. I don't want to forget it,
I want to live with it. I could do without everything,
Put up with anything, if I might cherish it.
IN fact, I think it would really be dishonest
For me, now, to try to make a life with anybody!
I couldn't give anyone the kind of love--
I wish I could--which belongs to the life.
Oh, I'm afraid this sounds like raving!
Or just cantankerousness...still,
If there's no other way...the I feel just hopeless.
There is another way, if you have the courage.
The first I could describe in familiar terms
Because you have seen it, as we all have seen it,
Illustrated, more or less, in lives of those about us.
The second is unknown, and so requires faith--
The kind of faith that issues from despair.
The destination cannot be described;
You will know very little until you get there;
You will journey blind. But the way leads towards possession
Of what you have sought for in the wrong place.
That sounds like what I want.
It is a terrifying journey.
----------
Oh yes, she will go far. And we know where she is going.
But what do we know of the terrors of the journey?
You and I don't know the process by which the human is
Transhumanised: what do we know
Of the kind of suffering they must undergo
On the way of illumination?
----------
It was obvious that here was a woman under sentence of death.
That was her destiny. The only question
Then was, what sort of death? I could not know;
Because it was for her to choose the way of life
To lead to death, and, without knowing the end
Yet choose the form of death. We know the death she chose.
I did not know that she would die in this way,
She did not know. So all that I could do
Was to direct her in the way of preparation.
That way, which she accepted, led to this death.
And if that is not a happy death, what death is happy?
Do you mean that having chosen this form of death
She did not suffer as ordinary people suffer?
Not at all what I mean. Rather the contrary.
I'd say that she suffered all that we should suffer
In fear and pain and loathing--all these together--
And reluctance of the body to become a thing.
I'd say she suffered more, because more conscious
Than the rest of us. She paid the highest price
In suffering. That is part of the design.
EDWARD
I am at least free to leave. And I propose to do so.
My mind is made up. I shall go to a hotel.
REILLY
It is just because you are not free, Mr. Chamberlayne,
That you have come to me. It is for me to give you that--
Your freedom. That is my affair.
----------
Another scene:
CELIA
You see, I think I really had a vision of something
Though I don't know what it is. I don't want to forget it,
I want to live with it. I could do without everything,
Put up with anything, if I might cherish it.
IN fact, I think it would really be dishonest
For me, now, to try to make a life with anybody!
I couldn't give anyone the kind of love--
I wish I could--which belongs to the life.
Oh, I'm afraid this sounds like raving!
Or just cantankerousness...still,
If there's no other way...the I feel just hopeless.
REILLY
There is another way, if you have the courage.
The first I could describe in familiar terms
Because you have seen it, as we all have seen it,
Illustrated, more or less, in lives of those about us.
The second is unknown, and so requires faith--
The kind of faith that issues from despair.
The destination cannot be described;
You will know very little until you get there;
You will journey blind. But the way leads towards possession
Of what you have sought for in the wrong place.
CELIA
That sounds like what I want.
REILLY
It is a terrifying journey.
----------
JULIA, (speaking of Celia)
Oh yes, she will go far. And we know where she is going.
But what do we know of the terrors of the journey?
You and I don't know the process by which the human is
Transhumanised: what do we know
Of the kind of suffering they must undergo
On the way of illumination?
----------
REILLY, speaking of when he first met Celia
It was obvious that here was a woman under sentence of death.
That was her destiny. The only question
Then was, what sort of death? I could not know;
Because it was for her to choose the way of life
To lead to death, and, without knowing the end
Yet choose the form of death. We know the death she chose.
I did not know that she would die in this way,
She did not know. So all that I could do
Was to direct her in the way of preparation.
That way, which she accepted, led to this death.
And if that is not a happy death, what death is happy?
EDWARD
Do you mean that having chosen this form of death
She did not suffer as ordinary people suffer?
REILLY
Not at all what I mean. Rather the contrary.
I'd say that she suffered all that we should suffer
In fear and pain and loathing--all these together--
And reluctance of the body to become a thing.
I'd say she suffered more, because more conscious
Than the rest of us. She paid the highest price
In suffering. That is part of the design.
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