The line between a blog and a journal is a thin one. It is easy to forget sometimes that there are people who read what you write, and in moments like tonight, where I desire to flesh out thoughts that I'm having that are very personal, I find that I wish this blog was more private.

This has become my journal though, and I don't find myself wanting to write in another format what's going on in my mind and life. Vulnerability is something that readers respond to, but there are certain things that need not be shared with the world, even if that world is filled with the people who know and love you.

Writing is the best way I know how to clear the clutter of my mind and to bring order to the flurry of thoughts that take place within me from time to time. I feel the need to flesh these things out tonight, but not here. I will touch upon them though, since I do think it is valuable to let those who love you know at least an inkling of what's going on if you ever find yourself in a hellish place.

I am a wreck, plain and simple, all because of a woman that I love madly and deeply, and who I fear losing forever. All of this because of holding onto a principle, the importance of which I question and doubt on a daily basis, which results in me wondering if I'm nothing more than a fool.