One positive aspect of insomnia is that it affords plenty of free time for thinking. As I lay awake tonight, at around 3:30 or so, the end of 2008 came to mind, and thoughts of what 2009 may bring. 39 is just around the corner, followed close on its heels by 40. I thought about having lived over half of my life expectancy already and realized with a strange sense of jubilation that at this point in my life, I've already made it half way there.
I had a sudden sense of the amazing brevity of our lives on this planet, and that this is just a foreshadow of what's to come. We're all on the journey towards the promised land, and we inch forward, little by little each and every day. I think it's good to pause from time to time, to look back on how far we've come, and realize that whatever lies ahead we'll be able to make it through, come what may.
With that in mind, we must embrace whatever life brings us, for it's what we need to meet on the journey that's set before us. We must walk with the comfort that comes from the calm assurance that we are never outside of God's loving care, and to let got of our cares and concerns. We must embrace the beauty and joy that is around us in nature and in our friends. We must strive to enjoy this life as much as possible, and to have fun more than we fret, to laugh more than we cry, though we all probably could do with more tears from time to time to make us more human.
That's going to be my New Year's resolution: to live in the knowledge that I'm halfway home, and that if I'd made it through the first half, the second half will clearly be doable, and hopefully with less anxiety and pressure about doing what I thought I was supposed be doing all those years. The second chapter of life needs to be one where we learn to trust in God completely and utterly.