Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life Stuff

It was a beautiful day here, sunny and very warm, rare for this time of year. It was fantastic, but of course as is usually the case on beautiful Sundays, I was working. If you ever want to schedule an event on a Sunday, and you need good weather, check with me--if I'm working, you're guaranteed to have a nice day. It actually wasn't so bad for me though, since in the middle of the performance I had about 50 minutes off, so I left the pit and went for a walk outside along the river. It felt like a July day, and everywhere you looked people were out and about, walking their dogs, strolling with their family, riding some skateboards or going for a bike ride. We all know this is the calm before the storm and that nice weather like this needs to be taken advantage of.

For me though, everywhere I looked I saw couples out walking together, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company. That's all I seem to see these days. Whenever I go to church, I always seem to sit behind some happy couples, where the woman's arm is always rubbing the back of her boyfriend, where they'll whisper things to each other throughout the service, or they'll be holding hands the whole time. It's very distracting for me, but it seems to be a constant wherever I go.

On the way home today, I had a brief flash of a moment where I had a sense that someone was waiting for me at home, and I was happy. Of course it was some bizarre mirage stirred up by my subconscious desire for someone to be there and showed me in a very poignant way how much I long for someone to be there, waiting for me. It's awful to come home to an empty house.

I then headed to a difficult meeting with our negotiating committee, which I've been elected to. It entailed me confronting a colleague about some things which caused me serious concern, and it was awkward, uncomfortable and very stressful. Driving away, I just wanted someone I could talk to about it with, and to be able to debrief about it with someone. I'm on my own though, and just have to deal with it. I so envy the married.

Following the meeting, I went over to some colleagues from work for dinner. I had helped them out quite a bit earlier in the year with some things and they wanted to show me their appreciation by cooking dinner for me. As I sat there chatting with them and having dinner, I found myself longing to have someone there by my side too, to have a wife who would join me for such things. As the two of them chatted, invariably things came up that involved them doing things together, or making decisions together. They relayed how they've been establishing traditions for Thanksgiving that are becoming important to them as a couple, traditions that they want to create for their children, when they have them. The more I heard them talk, the more the empty chair beside me became a crushing void that weighed heavily on my heart and could not be ignored.

If you're married, don't ever, ever take your spouse for granted. The next time you see them, hug them, kiss them, and tell them how much better your life is with them, and that you thank God for them. Do it.

1 comment:

paul said...

Thanks for the reminder, Dan.