It's been quite awhile since I've swung by Theme and Variations. It's a little dusty from wont of use, I suppose, but I've decided to begin posting a few thoughts on a new development in my life. I'm on a serious diet, and a serious bootcamp that will last for 18 weeks.
I began this new program this past Wednesday. I have decided that as far food is concerned, and my relationship with it, I need a complete reboot of the system, and a reformat of the hard drive. In my 40 years of life, I've come to be an abuser of food, not merely a user of food. Food was given by God in part to be enjoyed, through our senses, but just all things sensual, there can easily be abuse of the good gifts of God. This is the story of my relationship with food.
I'm viewing these three or so months as a bit of penance for abusing food for so long, and in that context, I'm thinking I'll be able to stay on the straight and narrow. It's also one of those programs where you drop weight like you're jumping out of an airplane, which is tremendously exciting, and according to most research, the fast weight loss is the loss that stays, contrary to popular sentiment that "slow and steady wins the race." I've been on this program since Wednesday, and I've dropped quite a few pounds, and I think by next Wednesday, I will have dropped at least ten pounds, and probably a bit more, if it keeps at this rate.
The other reason I decided to go with this program is that it requires you to go into the doctor's office once a week for a check up, to make sure all is well. They routinely check blood levels and the like, so though it's a very low calorie diet, they keep track of how you're doing, so you know you're being healthy. They also require participants to attend a two hour meeting/work out once a week, since it's important that any lasting change becomes a lifestyle reboot as well. I've come to the realization that I've never allowed myself to view myself as a "fit" person, for some bizarre psychological reason that escapes me, but is really unimportant. I'm choosing with my rational mind to view myself as someone who can indeed be fit, and gain control over food again, through the grace of God. And as St. Augustine says, the grace of God operates through "secondary means," and so the choice to invest in this weight loss program I feel is a direct expression of God's grace in my life. I firmly believe that this three month crazy diet is the kind of Draconian measure that I need in my life to gain mastery over this part of my life.
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with food, and I suppose the next three months the particular "variation" I'll be focusing on will be my musings on weight loss, food, gluttony, and the grace of God.