Socializing

I went out with some friends from work tonight for drinks, in celebration of my 40th birthday. I'll say this: without Christ, life is vacuous and bereft of any meaning at all. If we don't view life from the context of eternity, banality rules the day.

Reflections on the Remaining Days of My Third Decade

I'll be 40 in a few days. This has, I am chagrined to admit, hit me in a surprising way. As it has approached, I consciously chose to be a person who embraced the coming of being a year older, and said, "bring on 50!" Life takes us by surprise often, and I think it's safe to say that with the advent of 40, I've hit a bit of a mid life crisis. It will come and go, and all will be well, but this will not be as easy a passage as my intellect would like it to be. My psyche and emotions tell another story, influenced by dashed dreams of companionship which remains unfulfilled at 40.

However, after an evening spent with my good friends Dave and Torey, preceded by spending a night with my brother Jim's family, and anticipating a family birthday party tomorrow, along with a night spent with my other brother's family, I'm reminded of a favorite quote of C. S. Lewis:

If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it’s not so bad.

This weekend, this world has been far more than a place of training and correction--it's been a place of happiness, and for that I'm grateful.

Diane

The visitation for my neighbor Diane was this afternoon. I heard from her children that she had one last request of me. Her exact words were, "tell Dan to trim that damn Rose of Sharon bush!" She threatened to come and knock pictures off of my wall until I took care of it.

That's just like Diane...she was perpetually hounding me about my gardening skills, and my rose of Sharon bush has grown into an unwieldy behemoth that has blocked her lilac bush from getting enough sun.

I'm going to the funeral on Saturday, and then coming home and doing some serious pruning.

My Neighbor

I awoke this morning, looked out the window and saw on my neighbor's porch signs that she had passed on. All of the equipment that was used to make her last days comfortable was sitting on the porch, waiting to be picked up. Her family is busying themselves, packing things away, filling the painful minutes with activity. It's sad, but Diane is indeed in a better place. Having so much time at home, knowing she would be passing soon was a gift, to her, to her family, and to all of us who knew her.

Pray for her family, will you?

She has entered into joy, unimaginable. Praise be to God!

Quirkiness

My good friend Scott over at The Glory of Everything tagged me for this meme from the blogosphere. Here are the rules:

1. Link the person(s) who tagged me
2. Mention the rules on my blog
3. Tell about six unspectacular quirks of mine
4. Tag six fellow bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

There's a slight problem: I think I'm a bit of a blogging hermit, so the people I would tag have already been tagged. And as to unspectacular quirks, I know I'm a quirky guy, but I'm at a loss to come up with some, other than those things that would lead people to believe I have OCD tendencies, so those stay with me. I think my friends would be better able to describe the unspectacular quirks that I have. I don't think I pick my nose in public, but I would hope that my friends would tell me if I did.

OK...some are coming to me:

1. If I do any gossiping, I'll always say something like this, "You know, this isn't something I should really talk about...but" and then I'll go ahead and say it anyway.

2. Every time I cross the sign marking the 45th parallel of the earth on my way to the U.P., I make a sound effect like I'm crossing through a force field or something, usually with an associated hand motion. I love that I can drive through the exact half way point between the equator and the north pole. I know it's a little nerdy.

3. Here's another U.P. related ritual. I always have to open the windows of my car when I cross the Mighty Mac--I like to think that it's the freshest air on earth, and it doesn't matter if it's windy, rainy, or snowy, or freezing cold, the windows are coming down.

4. I am always aware of whatever music is playing anywhere I go. I can't shut it out, ever. It usually annoys the heck out of me.

5. Anytime I stand up with my trombone on stage, I'll take my thumb on my valve and move it back and forth constantly until I sit down again.

6. I sometimes count the lines in a sidewalk.

(I prefer it when they end on an even number.)

Reunion

Scott, the person you wrote about got the message a few years back.

Kitchen Confidential

Despite how much of a clutter nut I am, I really like it when my home is clutter free and clean. As strange as it seems, I think sometimes my house becomes cluttered and stays cluttered because of my particular neuroses. I have too much perfectionism in me, the curse of being irritated when things aren't "just so." When the house is spotless, every little thing bothers the heck out of me, sort of irrationally so, and for those who know me, probably comes as a surprise. On the flip side it's peaceful too. Ironically, sometimes it seems easier to deal with when things are a frenzied chaos.

I taught some lessons yesterday, and because one of my students just finished eighth grade, her mom comes and stays inside during the lesson. This is a first for me, since usually the kids are old enough to drive themselves, or they're old enough for the parents to drop them off and then enjoy having an hour to themselves. There are a few coffee shops nearby and I think one father in particular just goes and enjoys a rare moment of solitude.

But now, with this new student, each week I need to make sure that not only the living room and dining room are clean, but also my "den" which serves as a waiting room for her. With the new furniture I picked up used from some friends a few months ago, it's turned into a comfortable space which feels great to have clean and has become my favorite place to sit and relax with a good book or the computer. For the past two weeks, each Thursday has found my entire first floor (other than what's behind the closed door off of the dining room) spotlessly clean, and it feels great. I want to maintain this kind of living, and as Torey has said to me, when you respect a space, you want to keep it clean. I respect these three rooms because they're the ones I've been able to make my own.

Now the kitchen...that's another story completely! By the end of the summer, however, I'll have a new one, and I know I'll finally feel like that's mine too. The first step is finishing my bathroom, which I've been chipping away at this week. By the time fall rolls around, my whole first floor will be completely redone, and I'm going to strive with everything in me to keep it clean, because it feels so good.

As to my kitchen, it was in serious need of a Clean Sweep intervention. I helped Torey a week or so ago with babysitting her kids for a couple of hours and she offered a helping hand in getting the kitchen back in shape. It had just gotten out of hand, and since there's that door to close from the dining room, it was a case of "out of sight, out of mind."

We did a thorough scrubbing down, and it feels great to have it clean, but Torey's insight to me made a huge impact on me. She made the comment that I don't respect my kitchen, and for someone who derives so much pleasure from cooking, I need to be able to respect and enjoy my kitchen. I think the hope for a perpetually clean kitchen will be fulfilled on the other side of this kitchen remodel, which has spurred me on to get it done, and get it done as quickly as possible. I'm really excited by the prospect and I'm finally able to envision it as a reality. One way or the other, it's getting done this summer.

I'm looking forward to this entire first floor being remodeled--I think my life of insane clutter will have a fighting chance to be overturned.

Or at least that's the hope.

Thanks Torey. I told you you didn't know what you were getting yourself into, and as you now fully comprehend, I owe you, big time!

38

Yesterday was a fun birthday. Paul and Alison had a little informal shindig at their place, along with Dave and Torey, as well as Dave's sister Allison and her boyfriend Dax. We had some pizza, drank plenty of Oberon, ate some chocolate mint explosion cookies and had a great time playing with the Wi Nintendo system.

I had to interrupt the festivities to play an easy gig, then headed over to Dave and Torey's for a game of Quiddler and sharing a couple of bottles of wine. All told a great birthday, and I'm very grateful for having such great friends!

Here's an interesting story about answered prayer that happened on my birthday. Saturday night I was doing a bit of reading, and read from a letter C. S. Lewis wrote to Sheldon Van Auken on the heels of the latter's conversion. Lewis wrote to Van Auken saying, "My prayers are answered...Blessings on you and a hundred thousand welcomes."

As I read that passage, I thought to myself how I long to be able to say that some day to Meg: "My prayers are answered! Blessings on you and a hundred thousand welcomes!" I have prayed fervently for Meg's salvation, and have learned to offer up my loneliness on behalf of that, and I thank God for the opportunity to do so. But I long with all my heart to be able to say those same words of Lewis, and to say them soon. I have no contact with her, and so I know nothing of her. All I have is the faith and belief that my prayers must in some ways be profitable. We see so little though, and as the words of Paul that Sherry C. has on her blog say, "for now we see as through a glass, dimly." Saturday I found myself with a renewed longing that the day when I can say those words to Meg may come, and come quickly, and in that heightened yearning, I fervently prayed to God, asking for some small sign of encouragement that my prayers were being used by Him.

At my birthday shindig on Sunday, both Ren and Eden created some cards for me that are some of the most precious gifts I've received on any birthday, and I do not say that lightly. Alison had a Gwen Frostic note with a cardinal on it which she gave to Eden to draw a picture on for me. When she was done, Alison saw that there were two people, and she asked Eden who they were. Eden replied by saying, "It's Mr. Dan and a girl."

Alison then asked Eden what she wanted to write in the card for me.

Without missing a beat, Eden said, "Miracles and dreams come true."

If there is anything I've become convinced of in the past year, it is the fact that there are no coincidences. I have come to believe that God is active even in the smallest details of our lives. There was a time in my life when I believed that people who tried to find God's fingerprint in the most seemingly mundane events of life were pathetically superstitious and a little off their rockers. But now I think otherwise. I didn't share this with Alison, but it's a bit mind boggling that the card was a Gwen Frostic card. If God knows the number of the hairs on our heads, certainly He knows why a certain card was chosen. Gwen Frostic is not without meaning in my relationship with Meg. In light of my belief in a God who is very directly involved in our lives, even in things that seem mundane, the Gwen Frostic card, coupled with the picture of a girl with me, and Eden's unprompted declaration that "miracles and dreams come true," tells me that Alison's daughter sent a message of encouragement to me, straight from the mouth of God, in direct answer to my prayer the night before. I believe that my prayers for Meg's salvation will be answered, and that's exciting to me!

Separate from Eden, Ren also drew a picture for me for my birthday. There were two people on her card as well. Torey asked Ren who they were.

Ren said, "Mr. Dan and his wife."

I'll take that one to the bank. I'll take both of them to the bank! I believe that Meg will become a believer (hmm...I'm filled with a rush of excitement at the thought, more than I've felt before--at this moment, it feels to me as an epiphany, that it's a foregone conclusion--I believe that the Hound of Heaven must be doggedly pursuing her, in love...and may it be so!) The other card, from Ren is an encouragement in another way. I'd like to think and hope that in my 38th year, perhaps this will be the year where I find my wife. If that's the case, it will be with a great sense of honor that I will introduce her to sweet little Ren.

Scott, it would appear that the water's just fine.

Prayer Requests

Some of my dearest friends are going through some difficult times. Alison's daughter, Lydia, had an operation tonight to remove her appendix due to appendicitis. Please pray that her recovery will go smoothly and that all will be well.

Scott's son is also having surgery on his finger tomorrow morning to discover whether or not his tendons are OK or not, as the result of an accident. Please pray that his fingers will be fine, and that Scott and the entire family will have peace about it, including grace extended over the accident.

Ali Cavanaugh

For those of you who don't know her, I encourage you to go check Ali Cavanaugh's website.  She's a friend through Tanner and Alison, and she's a terrifically gifted artist.  I've always enjoyed her work, and when she heard I was heading to Austin, she let me know about her work which is in a gallery there, the Wally Workman gallery.  I decided I needed to track the place down, thinking how cool it would be to see a friend's work in a gallery where I was on tour.

We began trekking on 6th Street, and ended having to walk about 20 blocks or so, but it was a beautifully sunny day, and I was glad for the exercise.  We always tend to eat far too much on tour and it was good to get out and stretch our legs and break into a bit of a sweat.

The Wally Workman Gallery is a beautiful gallery, and I was able to spot Ali's work right away.  She was the cover artist for the promotional material the gallery did in December with a theme of Alice in Wonderland.  A painting of girl's knee socks was the feature, and the painting that I saw was from the same series.  

It was a lot of fun to see a friend's painting on a wall, and the woman working at the gallery expressed how much they enjoyed Ali's work, and how successful she's been for them.  She reported that Ali will be having a featured show in Portugal soon, and that it seems that people just can't get enough of Ali's paintings.  It's always exciting to see someone doing what they love to do, and succeeding at that, especially someone else who is in the arts.  I feel very fortunate to have so many close friends who are artists--I feel we tend to enrich the world around us!

We went upstairs, and found a few more of her paintings on display and it was fun showing my colleague's her work.  We ended the gallery tour with a nice cold drink at the coffee shop next door, then headed back to a place I read about at Roadfood.com, Hut's Hamburgers, home of one of the best burgers I've ever eaten.  

Ali suggested a stop at Whole Food Markets just next door, and I couldn't resist.  That place was amazing, and I picked up truffles for everyone, along with a rosemary sourdough bread which reminded me of my time at the CIA, along with a chunk of organic gouda and two bottles of wine.  We're going to have a party afterwards, and sleep in...since our flight was canceled on American.  We're stuck in Texas one more day.  We'll be in Dallas tomorrow night, and hopefully will see a movie, or a rodeo, or a concert, or go bowling.  I do believe that a good ole Texan steak will be in order too.

A new baby!

We've all been waiting for the arrival of Dave and Torey's new member of the family. She came yesterday and here are a few pictures of the happy clan. I know there are a lot of people who want to see this cutie, and since Dave and Torey are a little busy, I thought I'd get a few pictures up as soon as I could. I was only there for about a half hour and didn't take too many pictures. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the new mom and dad holding their baby. But here are a few pictures of a proud grandma and the new kiddo's Uncle Paul.

She weighed 8 lbs. 10 oz., and was 23 inches, for those keeping score at home.

About a Friend

I received a voice mail today from a good friend of mine, a trumpet player who I went to MSU with for several years. I see him quite often since he gigs with the symphony about once a month or so. He went in for a biopsy of his prostate last week because of an elevated PSA level in his blood work. He just received word today that he definitely has cancer. He's only 47 and both his father and grandfather died of prostate cancer. This is a rough day for him.

Pray for him, will you?

Mom and Dad, it's Mark T., who plays with me at the Cathedral every Christmas Eve. He'll take comfort knowing you're praying for him.

Elisabeth Elliot, IV

I am thinking today of two friends who have lost a loved one--one, the grandmother of her children and another an expected child, full of hope and possibility. I have found great comfort in the writings of Elisabeth Elliot, and last night I read these words which I found comforting. I urge you to read my friend Sherry's account of the funeral of her mother-in-law. It's beautiful, painful and full of hope all at the same time. God's people have hope!

The place where we must meet Him today is the cross where the Lord of the Universe dealt finally with death. It is no vague and silly optimism we speak of, no false mysticism, but a bowing in humble repentance and faith at the foot of that cross. We must be crucified with Christ. That is the beginning of the new life--the deathknell and the birthpeal ringing at the same time.

The resurrection happened. We believe it. We bank all our hopes on it. Jesus is alive. And yet...and yet we sorrow. There is no incongruity between the human tears and the pure joy of the presence of Christ--He wept human tears too. Nor is there sin in grieving, provided we do not give way to it and begin to pity ourselves. It is still appointed unto man once to die, and those who are left must grieve, yet not as those without hope. Resurrection is a fact. There would be no Easter and no basis for Christian faith without it. Hence there is no situation so hopeless, no horizon so black, that God cannot there "find His glory."

Crown Him the Son of God
Before the worlds began,
And ye who tread where He hath trod,
Crown Him the Son of man;
who every grief hath known
that wrings the human breast,
And takes and bears them for His own,
that all in Him may rest.

--Matthew Bridges

From Elisabeth Elliot's A Path Through Suffering, pp. 128-129.

How to be a good friend

I saw a good friend of mine yesterday for the first time since this summer. He didn't know much about the story with Meg but had heard an inkling from a mutual friend. He asked me what had happened so I relayed the story to him. He's one of those guys who whenever I seem to tell him about something like this, I usually feel worse after talking to him.

"Well, at least now you know where she stands and you can move on. You're gonna be fine," isn't really all that helpful. It's not like I suddenly learned that the pain in my foot was caused by a splinter that just had to be removed for me to be able to walk without a limp. How about just a "Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm sure it's gotta be tough." Sitting and just listening is never a bad idea.

Braggin' on a friend...

I just got home from a Pilates class that Torey teaches. She's been working with me one on one at her place--I'm hoping I'll be a poster child of Pilates, but we'll see. She thought it would be great if I did a mat class along with the exercise equipment work she does with me, so I joined her in a class she started teaching this week.

The class meets at the YWCA, and I must admit I felt a little sheepish as I walked into the building, but once the class got going, everyone was just paying attention to trying to get their body to move in the right way.

I've never seen Torey in her role as a teacher, other than doing her one on one sessions with me. There's something about seeing my friends do what they are called to do that makes me very happy! We don't often see our friends or family do what "they do," and to see someone doing what they are passionate about is exciting.

Torey, you're great at what you do, and I could sense the members in the class appreciating your down to earth realness, making them feel OK to look dorky. Because of that realness, and the fact that you're able to show how well Pilates works, I think you're going to have great success. As I sat there watching you teach, I gotta admit I felt proud of you!

Birthday Bash

This birthday weekend ended up being a lot of fun. Friday, my birthday, was a busy day, starting with a recording session with my brass quintet, then jetting home for a rehearsal of a concert of Pink Floyd music (yay!). In between, I grilled up a big fat Tbone for dinner, and then went off to the concert.

Dave and Torey invited me over afterwards for some serious Blitzin' action, along with some munchies. The wine was flowing, and my heart was certainly gladdened. We had a great time playing Dutch Blitz and just chatting away the evening. The Canucks were still playing when we finished, and since Dave's a diehard fan, we went across the street to the Nitecap to watch the overtime. It happens to be one of the diviest bars I've ever been in, and it was great fun. We both had a couple of beers, and on the walk back to their house, it was decided that the 1/2 mile drive to my house was a bridge too far in my wine and beer infused state, so I crashed on their couch, which has to be the biggest couch in the county. I slept like a rock, bed spins notwithstanding.

Sleeping in was had by all, and Dave made one of his legendary fritattas for breakfast, which was very tasty, along with some roasted potatoes. I left the Westside B & B at around 12:30, and had a great time. Thanks Dave and Torey! I'm glad we're neighbors!

Then it was off for a shower and then to work, where the bones only had to rehearse for 45 minutes--not bad. I went home, took a nap, and then had plans to go eat burgers at my buddy Erich's house, and watch Napoleon Dynamite. I was running a little late, and so I got a call at 5:00, when I was supposed to be there, and then got over there as quick as I could.

Well, it turned out to be a surprise birthday party. Erich got the entire low brass section there, and he was sneaky enough to finagle Paul and Alison's last name from me, and they were there too. Dave and Torey were able to make it as well. I absolutely had no idea, and was taken completely by surprise--no clue at all.

That's got to be one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me, and everyone showing up meant a lot, along with their generosity in giving me some gifts, which no one needed to do! I was a little stunned for awhile, but I got over that fairly quickly. I've been to a few surprise parties before, and I've often wondered if I would like to have one myself. My usual answer has been no, since despite my hammish nature, I don't really enjoy being the center of attention like that. I think a surprise party can make you feel pretty self conscious, and I certainly felt that way for the first hour or so. But now having experienced it, I think everyone should have a surprise party sometime. It was definitely a good thing.

On Sunday, Torey, Alison, Ren, Eden and I went to the Allegan Antique Market, one of the bonuses of warm weather and a favorite activity of mine. That's a good time, and I think they've caught the bug, and I'm glad. It's looking like this might become a regular thing, since we're already planning to go down at the end of May to the next one. We were there for almost four hours, and my big purchase was the clock I posted below. A successful trip, and a fun way to wrap up a great birthday weekend.

Thanks to all my friends for making this the best of birthdays! Y'all are keepers!